Every time i feel down, i would write stuff here.
It's either i have no place to go,
or I just felt you presence over here.

I'm suffering =(

Please save me.
I'm trying not to care about my friends.
It's so freaking hard.
How come it's so freaking hard?

I miss you guys.

No one can even put a smile on my face anymore.
Even if four of us get back as a group again.
There is no way memories can be repeated.

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:15 PM

Hello The End Of The Chapter ..... =),

It's been more than half a year since i wrote here..
We're cool..
I miss Emo4 as usual ...
Just wanna say we're cool and always in contact in facebook ... I guess ..
Sigh ...
Can we have another moments ...?
I miss you guys, and I need you guys to cheer my life up ...

Michy
xoxo

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 3:12 AM

Miss Independent =)

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 6:20 PM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 2:35 AM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 4:06 PM

The end of the chapter

I'm standing here
at the place where we once begin
The four of us
had so much fun
Emo4 was our foundation

Ryan and Ju-Yen
were once chasing each other at DPC

Megdalyn and Michy
always play bra fight like two crazy people at DPC

So why this chapter had to end so bad
I want to turn back time to the past

No matter where they are
I still felt their presence
Memories of the past flashes back

So why am i alone in this friendship,
still holding on and praying hard

But don't you worry cause I'm here,
hoping that it's the same again

Every beginning has ending
We know how we begin
But we'll never know how it ends till it ends

Don't put hopes anymore
It's time to let it go
It's the end of the chapter
Just close the book and move on with your life

So why this chapter had to end so bad
I want to turn back time to the past

No matter where they are
I still felt their presence
Memories of the past flashes back

So why am i alone in this friendship,
still holding on and praying hard

But don't you worry cause I'm here,
hoping that we'll gather again

Ooh Ooh Yeah Yeah
One day it'll be alright
Never give up
It's our friendship
Emo4

This song is dedicated to
Ryan Oh, Megdalyn and Ju-Yen

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 3:06 PM

Sitting in the little kelisa staying at the blue sky,
i wondered how come so many things changes
so much within short period of time..
Everyone is moving on, except me...

Wake me up, to face the reality...
I'm still wondering why am i living in the past...
Can i have that hug that i always wished for...?

I don't think so... =(

Don't emo already le Michy....
Wake up to face the world...

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:49 PM

The end of the chapter,
the very first version that i did.
Clearly, i wasn't satisfied towards that video.
There was some elements missing,
But i didn't know what is missing.

As i've mentioned before,
"Be With Me Tonight" always reminds me of Emo4.
I can hear up to 50 times a day, i swear..

So my inspiration came up last wednesday..
As usual, i was sitting in my room humming to "BWMT"
And suddenly words just spit out of my mouth.
I quickly took a pen and write down...
I pen down all my feelings, and rearranged them...

Thus, it took me 2 days to write the lyrics itself...
A day after i've completed,
I've decided to remake the video...
and as you can see, 98% of the video is in DPC,
ahhhh, the memories begin there..~

Not the same 'the end of the chapter'.
Some element is same,
but i have added in more 'feel' inside...
I pen the lyrics before adding the videos,
then realise so damn ngam coz most of the videos are DPC videos..

Damn suffering doing this video.Haha.
but so worth it, coz i watched it over 100 times,
re-edit and re-do for so many times,
not satisfied and keep recording over and over again,
till i nearly lost my voice. Hahahaahahaha....

So, if you had seen the video,
can you feel the impact
at the 'hugging' part,
and where the 'book' is close...?

THAT, is indicating 'The end of the chapter"

annd you know what...
The last 40 seconds is my favourite part =)
Tears keep rolling down throughout the 40 seconds

Awww, i wish they could hug me on my birthday too =)

I don't care if you don't want to talk to me.
I don't care if you are avoiding me.
I don't care if you said you are being heartless
I don't care if you said i'm wasting trees on the 'book'

All i know now is that we were once happy....for just 3 months...

Did you felt the impact when the book is 'closed'? I did...

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 3:10 PM

Reality check about the video.
First, the friendship is never gonna be the same again.
Second, the lyrics doesnt make so much sense..
Third, clearly there are some issues...
Fourth, i'm glad to put in 100% effort in this video,
and 40% effort in my assignment,
which I would think would fail...

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 2:55 PM

Doing the video indeed reminds me alot about the past.
Surprisingly, i wasnt indulge into deep emo-ness when creating this video.
but to me, this kind of thing enchance my creativity..
and i really love the video although it's only halfway done =)

Oh well, the past is the past~

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:44 PM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 8:56 PM

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 10:06 PM

Currently i am at DPC Coffee Bean..
Memories banyak kembali..
But, things changes alot here too..
It's been long since i came to DPC... =(

Like for example, across the small pond,
another bridge is build.
Why leh?
Izit indicating that although the previous
bridge collapse, but there is sure another bridge build to support.
Is it a sign for me to know that i shouldnt give up...?
Walk a different path...

And also, i noticed at the grass, a new path is build.
Hmmm. is it indicating me to walk the other way and to not look back?
I don't know...I really don't know..
Alot of things changes like hell...~

What i know is, im here...
alone...always =)

P.s- just saw a lil child wearing 'Wild Child' tee...

"Moving on is simple,
what you leave behind that makes it difficult"

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 9:02 PM

f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s
It's been f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s
It's already f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s

f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s since Wing's cafe.Haih.
Gosh, i really really miss those moments.
Haih~ I remember those Heneikken times...
Why time have to fly so fast, month to month..

I tell you something la...
Next month, it'll be half a year...6 months..HALF A YEAR.
Can u imagine how time flies..?

Now, not only our friendship break,
we are NOT EVEN TALKING to each other anymore..
It so hurtful you know..

Okay lo, friendship not close nvm..
now, never talk at all..what the fuck..
Damn hurt. really damn hurt.

dat day studying, nearly cried at lecture hall thinking about this..
driving also din pay attention, almost kena knock/knock people so many times...
Cross road also din see car, dat kembara nearly took my life if i din take another look..

Haih. duno la. one day i will get killed coz i 'think too much'

But how can i not thing when so many stuffs trigger my memories..?

It's been f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s..
It already been f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s..

f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s
f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s
f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s
f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s
f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s
f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s f.i.v.e m.o.n.t.h.s

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:03 AM

Today is Wednesday May 13 2009.
Exaclty 4 months ago, Megdalyn posted something in Emo4 Blog.
13th January 2009

"last time i used to like black alot,
because my life wasn't colourful at all
but ever since i hang out with my new friends,
my life has become colourful"

It's been four months since she said that...

It's already May...
Day by day things seems to get worst~
It's gonna be the 15th again in two days~

Haih~ the only thing is have now is the memories in the SD cards...
and time is all i can pray for..~
everyday, going through like this, so hurtful..

"all laughter ends in tears"..

tears. tears. tears. tears. tears.

Sometimes, i really do want to let go,
but like i said, little little things love to trigger me...~
How am i going to survive like this..u tell me..~

tomorrow will be another day,
and it will be another blog post,
and it will be another point of time...~

haih~ how am i going to survive...
kill me please. just kill me ....

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 8:21 PM

Wow. She had indeed move on. I wonder how she does it.
As for me, im still living in the past. Still standing.
Actually, died together with the bridge at the ocean. Haiha.
Day by day i blog over here. sometimes twice a day.
Is it really that i've no1 to go to now.....?


True.

The bridge shaking mai let it shake lor.
Now, JuYen is not talking to me.
Ryan is avoiding me.
and Meg seldom talks to me anymore...~

Collapse already.
and Michy died with it.

Today. 12th May 2009.
It's been 4 months since we called McDonalds's Delivery at Meg's house.

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 10:14 PM

R.I.P Lil Michy

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:26 PM

Frankly speaking, im not that strong.
Nor i am tough.
I collapse easily.

I need a hug now. Please.
A hug from the four of you?
Group hug perhaps...?

I miss you guys =(

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:46 PM

Today i went to eat Shabu Shabu with my family.
Again. Memories of steamboat day flashes back.
I told you, little little things trigger my mind, always.

I still remember the love JuYen has for balls.
Balls keep passing by my eyes trigger back the moments
where Meg & I went to Pasar to buy tons of BALLS for JuYen.
Haha. That was the moment. that really was those times.

We were sitting down in DPC, laughing and crying~
emoing and duno who rape who again~..haha..
Ala... i really really cannot let go....
Everything really triggers me..
Even though i don't go to dpc now,
but still other little things trigger it...

2 weeks have passed since April 25th...

Anyway, back to steamboat....
At Mizi, they played "Right Now Na Na Na" ...
It reminds me alot of the moments with Ryan~

At steamboat, Melanie suddenly asked me...
"How do you know Megdalyn...?"
after i explain a long story,
she asked.."How do you know the guy, Ryan"
so i explained another long story...

"nehhh, from pinkies we met, till now we become best friends.."
but i skipped the part that now the friendship has collapsed Haihz~

Day by day, i just had the urge to blog over here...
I dun even wanna do my assignments..
This is bad...~ this is really bad...~

Im trying real hard to stand up after falling down,
unfortunately, i really do not have the energy to stand again...

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:32 PM

Sometimes i wonder, why this is happening to me....
Im so sick of it already =(

Where is our Redang holiday? Where is our Melaka holiday?
Where...? Where..?

Can i go and find back our memories...?

I want to go Penang again, to find back our memories...
I really wanted to... =(

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:07 AM

Madeline had a party at KL.
So mum and I went to KL at 11.30pm to fetch her.
We somehow got lost and try our way..
Then, it flashed back..

I still rememeber after DFC party,
we wanted to go 'yum cha' at Setapak.
So many stuffs happen 3 cars end up wondering in KL.Haha.
Ryan's ,Meg's and Mine car~ lolz..

Drive here and there for an hour and the half..~

It was so funny. and that was the beginning..

Then , i was turning on the radio when "T-Shirt" suddenly played..
I remembered Meg and Ryan humming to the song played..
I still can remembered clearly in my head...~

Sometimes, you just want to let things go,
but things around u just don't want to let it go..
They just had to trigger the memories...

KFC, McD,Wing's, Genting, Penang, Bak Moi, Evergreen, CocoPeng, ....

and alot of things ....

How am i suppose to let go when this things don't want to let me go?

Even if i miss them, got use meh??
Mm Song-ness will still float around between them,
and it will hurt me more....

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:48 AM

The sequel

The end of the chapter: Memories

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:44 AM

She had enjoyed every second of her life with them, but now it was time to move on.
Move on to the next chapter of her life, bringing wonderful memories with her, and experiences that would teach her and help mould her future. Sure, it would be difficult; she had learn that nothing was ever easy. But it didn't feel as difficult as it had been a few months ago, and in a another few months it would be even less difficult.

She had been given a wonderful gift; life. Sometimes, it was cruelly taken away too soon, but it's what you did with it that counted, not how long it lasted. =)

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 2:15 PM

Some outsider even commented on my "The End of The Chapter[2]"


Very gam tung, since the outsider willing to spend 9.33 mins
to see what i was going through...

Haha. well, i need more ideas to create more videos...~

I was thinking about a very nice video layout,
but doubt it will happen anyway..
But..But..if it were to be created, it would be very sad..
very very emotional video...
Could even make people cry...~ hahahahah~ oh well..dream on~

Geeeez
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now is the toughest stage in life,
it's to get back up after falling down~

Hmmm, i remembered when friends use to hurt me damn kau jia lat...
What i did was relinquish all my anger towards them..Haha.
In December, i just recovered from the Point3 crisis..
Now,It's time to face the Emo4 crisis..

JuYen seldom talk with me ady...
Ryan doesnt want to talk/reply my sms/calls/msn anymore..
and...Meg is not talking/close to me anymore..

This is good news...~ maybe its better off like that..
So that i don't think so much...dun mourn so much..
*ceh, macam somebody died je*

Haha.~ I told Fay last week..
"Too really let go of this, i need to fan min with everyone"

So, which next batch of friends will hurt me again?
Cmon, bring it on! Scared of you ah...? Cmon!!!

It's really like a cycle process..
Everything is repeating..
Friends-close-hurt-jialat-fan min- become hi-bye friends..
Every friendship also de same...~

Sien with it already. Really sien.~
But what to do...
Friends are my only source of happiness in life.. =)

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 8:07 AM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:03 AM

I think this chemistry is broken up to little little tiny molecules..~
and surprisingly i feel a lil better tonight..

Maybe because JY never talk to me,
and R is not talking to me for some reasons coz he dun ans my sms and call and msn
even though i nearly died when i stop at roadside at dat Mat Rempit give me that 'look',
and i'm not that close to M anymore....

So, im avoiding the chemistry,
cheering myself with happy crazy music..
Trying to forget all this stuff..~
but deep down, who knows..~

Now, just had to enjoy life....~

I wan to go CLUBBING!

I wan to go HOLIDAY!

I wan to start a NEW CHAPTER!

Wohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~~~~~~

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 10:21 PM

and here i am again...
in college, blogging....

feeling down again, as usual...

thinking again, as usual...

never been happier, as usual...

tried to pay attention but failed..

im really scared for my exam...

everyone is making effort except me..

i cannot afford to fail, or i'll lose my scholarship...

but there is nothing that can pull me back up...

happiness is gone, so does the mood of studies ='(

I always have the thought in life,
if... if i were to experience a car crash and ended up in coma,
i think i would let go, because i don't have the will to live...
I really don't have the will to live anymore...

It's not mainly because of Emo4,
it's also mainly on my studies,
it's also mainly on alot of factors..

factors that doesnt bring me happiness...

Alot of people asked me to go holiday to Penang with them...
MunYi and gang..
Zi Ling and gang...
Connie and gang..

But why Penang, why...?

I don't want to...
I don't want to replace my Penang memories with others...

I really don't want too....

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 10:53 AM

Porbably this is my biggest downfall of 2009.
I don't even know why am i living this life~
Tell me why....?

Last time it used to be tough when i lose my friends,
or when i think i took the wrong course.
Now, both of this things are happening to me simultaniously...

I don't know what am i studying for..
Nor i don't know why am i mourning over this friendship.
But, they were my source of happiness,
the strength, the guide to my life..~ the light in my darkness life~'

These few months, when i wake up and look in the mirror,
i see my face getting paler and paler...
I don't want this to happen to me...
I don't want to be so down..
But what can i do..?
how to be positive..?
Who can make me positive...?

Do you want to know how much i've suffer?
Im really collapsing... I really am...
Who is going to hold me next..?
Who will be the next batch that will give me happiness,
then cause me to experience downfall again...

I thought i learned my lesson in Point3 case,
but why i gave in and ended up with Emo4?
Because i think dat they 3 are my best friends,
and nothing big will happen...
But, now everything just goes wrong..
I cant even concerntrate in class...

I kept thinking and thinking and thinking~ why..?
Even in DSM class today, i kept day dreaming~
where does my mind go...?
Im getting more tired everyday~ i cannot face all this anymore..~

I miss my source of happiness...

Which next batch will give me happiness and hurt me next...?

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 3:57 PM

Being happy is the priority of living,
If you wanna be sad,
be sad for something thats worth it"

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 9:16 AM

01.05.09 Look Out Point with E=Mo4-2+1+1

Since Ju-Yen wants to go Look Out Point,
and since i know going Look Out Point just 'us' is not happening anymore,
i decided to bring her up~

Earlier she sms the other two,
but R didn't replied, and Meg went to Dick-land(PD)~ so haha...
AND SINCE I DON'T WANT TO BE LAMPOST IN
SUCH A ROMANTIC PLACE,
i end up calling Fay last minute to go =)

Came back from work, haven even rested,
went out again because Jie wants to eat...
Went to DPC, and Tai Ka Jie was there too~
End up went to spicy~
What to do, either i'm the stripper/driver/maid
or a replacement of Meg.

So came back, sleep awhile and B.e.r.t.o.l.a.k~
We left at 7~

So, my GPS didnt work =(
Lost our way to Feeling's Cafe and pick JuYen & Yi Chin up.
It was already 8...
GPS didnt work, agak the way to Look Out Point =)
Remembered a few roads,
a few wrong turnings,
a defination of "a big dot surrounded by many small dots".
a phone call to Louis and we finally reached our destination!!

That's why, very important to remmeber memories,
then only you can remember your directions..
I still remember Connie talking about the Korean BBQ restaurant =)

We reached up there and no parking,
Fay seduced the car park attendent and we got a SPACE
HAHAHHAHAHAHA..She put out her leg and.."banggggggg~"

There were so many people,
but not as many as Valentine Day~
and so many birthday's happening =)

We went in to makan,
and the girl beside us happen to be the birthday girl.
So i dare Fay to wish her 'happy birthday'.
Then she ask if she did what she get,
before i even finish my sentence,
she already tap on the girl's shoulder and wish
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY"
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH WHat the fuck so spontanious~
Lesson to learn in life. Never dare a Liew.

We makan and took a few pictures,
laugh and laugh and laugh and a few more birthdays,
and we headed to the 'LOOK OUT POINT"
Thanks JuYen & Yi Chin for the dinner =)

The view is still breathtaking even though
it's the second time i went there..
The feeling is like, all problems went away for the past half an hour..
When i took my camera stand, and use Night Shot like how CY teached me,
people look at my camera and say ... "Wahhh, the camera take the picture very nice.."

The skill is NOT TO MOVE FOR 5SECONDS
AFTER THE PICTURE IS TAKEN HAHAHAHAHA
So blarddy funny. We took a few more pictures at the 3rd platform.
Passerby look at us as if we are celebraties taking pictures...~

Since people keep coming, and we couldnt book the whole place anymore,
we decided to go to the second platform.
A couple was standing at the side, holding SLR

Someone was saying should bring Meg's SLR up.
I say "Haha, u want to die ah, if she know, we all die .."
So anyway...
We were taking pictures when i discover something amazing.
"MAGICAL GHOSTLY PICTURES"
It's like as if it was edited.
As we take pictures, i noticed the guy holding SLR was helping us.
He was holding his camera flash and was like helping us.
Omg, after 5 mins, failing, he said "Come let me help you guys"
and he helped with the flash..

We laughed and laughed because the pictures were so funny~

there was Yi Chin doing his dragonball post which we laughed/
and then there was Fay & Ju-Yen doing their "JELING" post.
which HAHAHAH we took so long to take because
we have to wait for 5 sec after taking,
no even 5 sec, they keep bursting in laughter~

and then there was a YiChin affair with Michy & JY picture//

and there was Michy slapping herself...

and there was many. See it yourself =)

Before we decided to leave, Fay asked me help them take picture..
I was like, wtf i don't even know how to take nice pictures using SLR,
so anyway, went to the nice couples and help them took pictures =)
Thank them and we headed down =)

Started our wonderful journey, and look for roadsigns..
We managed our way back,
and when the turning to Wangsa Maju, it was JAM LIKE HELL
lol.because got Roadblock. wtf kns ccb mcb. Okay lo..
Pass through and the policeman ask me stop at the side wtf..
First time lor, for me driving~
Check the IC then check my car detaily as if got drugs~
Phew, actually they stop me coz im cute HAHAHA
Anyway, sped off and send JuYen and Yi Chin home =)

Then went home, 2nd home and rested.
Eyes cant even open. Feel like sleeping.~
Came home and realise i lost my mp3 player.
no fuck went to sleep, next day work at 6am~

An amazing journey with E=Mo4-2+1+1 =)

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 8:25 AM

Cola Club 02.05.09

Haha. It's been four months. Whoop~
Very very happy get to go cola club again~
So, after work, i get some rest, woke up and ... Haha~

So i started my journey. My long journey.
It's been a while since i've went to Setapak.
Even though the day before went there to pick JYYC up.
The 19.1 km journey sure brings lots back of memories...
No matter its 18sx stories, or ghost stories,
it's still memories...~

So anyway, the climax of the story.
I got lost, for like half an hour to 45 mins
Actually it's not lost la..
Earlier i told JuYen i would meet her at Feeling's cafe.
manazai, she sudah pergi..
GPS is bringing me to Steven Corner Ampang HAHAHAHAHA
So, depends on my memories now~

I roughly remembered JuYen teach me the way,
so what the hell i did was went all the way to her old crib,
then find my way through the way she thought me...~

and then, i panicked and somehow lost my way.
What to do leh..? JY also cannot tell me clear directions,
so i called my ONLY friend who is staying in setapak.
ma de. never answer my call wor...
GG lor i tell you, i panicked ady..

Coz i duno the way to Jalan Genting Klang,
but i know where am i..
So i ended up going here to pray for my backup help..=)

Not in wor =( ..GG lor .. Really GG lor~
So i got no choice but to call Daniel.
Daniel also not sure. lol.
but he was great help..ask me dun panic haha
and then duno how i found the way ady...

I remembered the area, the turning where my friend once said
"turn outer abit, here got one big lubang"
lolz. landmark leh~ landmark leh~
Its important...~ and im like sotong, so blurrrrr~~~
Dats why it's very important to remember every single past,
every single word people once said =)
It's helps you at a certain point of time=)

The reason i got lost its because half hour ago,
someone just had to curse me not to get lost at "Chow Kit".

So anyway, meet up with Ju-Yen, and went in to talk...
Yi Chin came with his gang later,
and dat stupid fella always make me laugh~ wtf~
with his stupid crazy acts~ lol..
Ju-Yen very very lucky to have him =)
like how Yuki is very very lucky to have Eric =)

So, sat down and hear some beautiful songs and Meg came later...
Talk some rubbish, hear some beautiful music,
laugh a little, play a little,crap a little...
A simple thing like that becomes one of the
happiest day for me for the past month..=)

Even though he is not here to tell me ghost stories,
it still felt like he is there~ =)

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 8:01 AM

The feeling of stabbing myself is coming back.
I tried not to think so much,

I wan to give up also end up hoi sei-ing myself.
I wan to help also end up hoi sei-ing myself.
im so tired. so tired to even care,
but i don't even know why im still caring..?

Others have already given up..
But what am i doing here...?
What am i doing blogging here..?

******
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Memories
Supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside
********

This is my current source of happiness.
Behind this thin layer of happiness,
there are so many issues,
which im the middle person getting stuck.
The best part is dat it has nothing got to do with me.
I don't even know why i even care...?

Im just trying to be happy.
2.5.09 was a happy day for me,
until it is ruined...
Now, where am i suppose to find more happiness?

Why can't you just fufill my wish?
I asked for nothing more....

Everytime i turn the pages of the book,
i read what happen to us, the fun and joy we once had,
i smiled. i really smiled. i laugh too. I could never be happier.

But after i close the book,
all issues just had to came in my mind.
I was thinking, 'how the heck did we even get close?'
I feel so hurt, so sad that i couldnt do a thing now.

i want to avoid thinking. i really do.
but i just duno how to be heartless.
i want to learn, but maybe it's not my nature to be heartless.

=(

Is it to much to ask just for a day of happiness..?

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:15 PM

I didn't cry when i made "The end of the chapter"
But alot people cried watching it.
Now, i made an improve version of "The end of the chapter"
It's now called...

"The end of the chapter 2"

and i cried watching it the 2nd time...
Tears flow down uncontrollably ...



Megdalyn claimed that i took her 'album'....
Fay said she kept in the cupboard somewhere up there..
I didn't take it. Where is it? Was it lost?
or the fact is, the memories is being chuck in the cupboard?

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 9:33 PM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:25 AM

Suddenly i miss watching this...
When i watch it, my heart sank...
Haihz~

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 8:03 AM

Currently listening to "Xiao Jiu Wo"
I never felt this way before..
I used to hate this song because Meg & Ryan kept playing and playing.
Kinda got fed up..~
Suddenly, now, im listening to it..
Memories of Meg's ipod and Ryan humming to the tune
when on our journey to Penang and Genting..
and sometimes when we go makan..=(

I miss them...
I miss Xiao Jiu Wo..
I miss the love that was never existed..
I miss those times...

Life is so fucked up..
When you hate something, you end up liking it..
When you like the friendship so much, it will end up broken.
Why? Why does it happen to me everytime...?

I miss this song alot..
I miss this song playing in Meg's Ipod.
I miss this song playing in Ryan's car...
I miss everything~ WHY????

I miss Ryan~
I miss disturbing JuYen..
I miss being close to Meg..
I miss everything..
Now, everything just goes wrong...

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:07 AM

As usual, what i encounter everyday,
i feel like taking a knife and stabbing myself.
Right here, right now...

I don't even know how to face myself anymore..

Do we really have to chuck the memories in the cupboard?,
i mean its only 2 months..~2 months just pass only~
i don't know want to be happy, or sad, or dissapointed...

Everything i do in my life is related to you guys..
When i pass by KFC,
when i pass by Wing's
When i go dpc...

So many stuffs, so many memories, such short time..Why?

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 10:55 PM

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Why everytime this hurts so much?
Everyday i just wish i could take a knife and stab myself.
WHY? WHY? WHY?WHY? WHY? WHY?WHY? WHY? WHY?

WHAT THE FUCK?
WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE ME LET GO?
WHY CAN'T I BE NUMB?
WHY MUST I HAVE FEELINGS?
WHY MUST I CARE, for people that doesnt care... =(

I WANTED TO LET GO SO MUCH,
BUT I CANT...I JUST REALLY CANT...
I need some time...
This hurts the most...

I just wish to move away..
I tried making myself busy..~
But i can't let go...
Please, please just make me let go...please..
i can't hold on any longer....

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:18 AM

The memories of Michy towards E=mo4 is 115 pages
The memories of Ju-Yen towards E=mo4 is 61 pages
The memories of Megdalyn towards E=mo4 is 7 pages
The memories of Ryan towards E=mo4 is 0 pages

Seems i kept alot of these memories in my book.
I talked alot about it...
I treasured alot ...
I really really miss you guys...

Why do i keep blogging here 4 times a day..?
Haihz.~

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:01 AM

Will there be a light at the end of every tunnel?

I mean, after being in the darkness for so long,
i really wished to see some hope...
Just to make me happy for once..? Please..=)
Haihz.

I really really wished the you guys can celebrate with me...
but 25th April is already over...
It's time to move on, but i still want to live in the past...

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:43 PM

I just don't know why Danny's song " Be with me Tonight"
always gave me a huge impact everytime i listen to it.
I can listen to it up to 50 times a day...
Because everytime i listen to it,
memories of E=mo4 comes to my mind.. =)

Not to forget "Zui Hou" also...
I was just thinking about the or chien + Koey teow th'ng case
that happened in Penang =)
I kept asking myself,
when is the next holiday...? When..?
I really wanted to have fun again,
minus all the mm songs and all the hatred towards the attitude =(

I guess it would not happen...
Haihz. I keep telling myself to let go,
but its just so hard to let go...
I don't know how Meg does it..
Being heartless.. Being tough..
It's so freaking hard to reach that stage.
Whenever im positive thinking,
a tiny thing can pull me down..

I just want to be happy.
JuYen smsed me today.
I suggested to go Look Out Point on thursday.
but will Meg & Ryan go...?
Most importantly, will they go and not be mm song?
Wait, the most most important,
will Ryan even respond to our sms?

I don't know where he gone to now....
I miss him kacauing my ear =(

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:29 PM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 8:29 PM

No matter how much i hate shopping,
I would still rather sit down and wait for a mini fashion show...
I would love to tell you whether the baju is nice or not...
I want to go back....

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 7:25 PM

Am i really facing the darkness alone...?




Yesterday, after celebrating Fay's birthday,
i headed home...
Suddenly felt like something is missing..
My birthday just ended and something is not right...
So, hence my heart leads me to Wing's cafe..
I drove pass and memories started flashing back..

I really do want them to celebrate with me...
But sadly, only the memories can celebrate with me..
Happy Belated B'day Mich...

I feel so sad..
My tears keep rolling down non stop..
Hence drove to DPC and sat down for a moment...
Its so hard you know, to face this..
This is like the biggest impact in my life..
Why this is happening to me...?

I wished we could sit together and emo at DPC together..
I wished we could play truth and dare together..
I wished we could get drunk together...

But why am i the only one left...
emoing alone...

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 3:27 PM

No matter how much i said i want to forget about them,
but everyday, my mind just kept thinking & thinking...

My birthday wish,
the wish that i really really want it to come true..
is for everything to go back to normal again...
I wished for that time again...

I don't want to celebrate my birthday this year,
its because i don't want to expect.
The more you expect, the more dissapointed you get...

Was it really the end of the chapter?

I don't want it to end...

I want the three of you to be at my side...on my birthday..
I want those fun times again..
But even though the three of you are here again,
i doubt we will talk anyway...
So i don't know...

I think at this point of time,
this is my worst birthday ever...
because what i expect would not come true...

its a simple request, but it's hard to be fufilled...

Ryan didnt even wished me happy birthday..=(
But "Miss Independant" played on my radio today...=(
I really really miss you guys.... I really do...

I want us to be crazy again..
I want us to get drunk and play truth and dare again..
I want us to be crazy...again..
Just for once...

I don't want to keep the memories in the cupboard..
I don't want to chuck the album that contains our memories in the cupboard.
Where are you guys...?

Why? I'm not happy...
So please don't wish me happpy birthday...

Among all of us, Meg is the luckiest..
Luckiest to have the 3 of us celebrate with her..
Luckiest to have the 3 of us surprising her...
Luckiest to have the 3 of us staying over and get crazy...
Luckiest to...

I miss those moments...

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 5:34 PM

No matter how much i pretended to be strong,
i am still weak. weak in the sense that i still miss emo4.
what happened? what actually happened?


Today, i send a random message to 3 of them.
Two reply. One duno die go where already =(

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 11:29 PM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:02 AM

This was what they saw.
One of them said,
"Wahhh, Michy, your best friends ah, sai mm sai put their picture...?"

Sigh. Sadly, it didn't last long~

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:00 AM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:00 AM

Missing you guys always =)

Should i, or shouldn't i believe in the word 'forever' ?

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:59 AM

By: Michelle Oon

I miss the good old days le...
Those december times....

=(

Miss u guys like hell~

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:59 AM

By: Michelle Oon

As you know, my calculator contains you guys punya picture.
I'm actually now supposed to be doing my assignment which is due in 10 hours time, and i'm only like 40% done. I feel like blogging Hehe. Today, i brought my assignments to work and do it. The maid, which i'm close to looked at my calculator. Here goes our crazy conversation:

"Eh, ini lelaki ke perempuan?" * points to Ryan*
"Lelaki lahhh..."
"Ini dan ini couple ker..?" *points to Ryan and Meg*
"Haha...Tak la, tapi masa dulu ada potential.."
"Ohhhhhh, ala, macam couple"

Haha. Apa deyh. =.="
I still remmeber those crazy moments.
Too excited. Too crazy. Too Fun!

"Never cry when things end,
instead smile & glad it happened at all"

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:58 AM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:58 AM

Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.W.H.YHaihz.Haihz.W.H.Y.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.W.h.y. L.i.k.E. t.H.a.T.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.
Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.Haihz.

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:57 AM

It isn't the end.
It is not the end.
It did not end.

not the end yet?

then, where did it pause too...?

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:55 AM

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 5:52 PM

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”

“Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”

“The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry.”

“Without trust there is nothing.”

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 12:04 AM

The end of the chapter

Mich Oon
found a tunnel @ 1:53 AM